Breathe in Breathe out
Reflection
The photographs are a portrayal of an emotional state. They reflect on a year which began with a strike of a bomb, crash of a plane, bodies in floods, earthquakes and the paranoia of looming death by a novel being. It feels as though my heart is constantly pounding, pounding so hard it's near bursting and yet constricting. There is adrenaline in my body but not of the good kind. The kind of which becomes crippling. I am stumbling into the unknown future of helplessness and the thoughts of pending death. The stark reality of job loss with unemployment on the rise, businesses crumbling, debts mounting but on the other side dubious corporations booming away. Inequality is laid bare, with no sign of relief as of yet. The impending statues of visas, the altering rules of immigration, gates closing; crashing hopes and dreams for a land I wanted to call home. Questioning wants and needs. What is a necessity or a luxury? Mother nature is hurting yet receives no sympathy. And now our illness is her only reprieve.
Anxiety chases me in nightmares making it hard to sleep, then as the dawn rises it is difficult to concentrate. I feel its effect on my body, experiencing extreme hair loss. I gather it all to be photographed and burned. The smell is foul and it fills the room. I cry over its loss, and get anxious for the loss. It is a never ending cycle of thoughts, thus more hairs fall.
It is strange how in these socially distant times we are part of a “collective dream”. In a way, this dystopian nightmare has made humanity realise how similar we are, than a utopian dream ever did.
Inhale and exhale,
Take the day as it comes.
March - July 2020